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| The cabinet office anxiously checks upcoming transactions |
A nation of blog-readers holds its collective breath as transactions are reviewed by the Cabinet Office, or breakfast bar, and at 11:45 a.m. precisely I rise to speak to the house:
This morning my ambassador in Staffordshire handed Herr Sam a final WhatsApp stating that, unless we heard from them by 12 o'clock that they were prepared to pay reparations amounting to two hundred and ninety-nine pounds, a state of war would exist between us.
I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received, and that consequently this blog is at war with Alton Towers.
