Nosing Over?

Courtesy of US VCs, Alton Towers and Boeing proudly present the didn't-ride-of-the-century... strap in, prepare to go nowhere and feel that nose-gear collapse in 6D!!!

Ed. Print off, pin up and piss off your line manager this Monday morning... I know you want to.

Financial Sweeteners

Two more UK companies in peril at the start of this week... Tate and Lyle set for a takeover by a US ingredients giant which in turn provides the sucrose for chocolate (Cadbury's) that also originated on these shores. The former began life in Liverpool in 1859, which is where much of the raw material was imported ~ fortunes further boosted by a licence to market the Swiss-German sugar-cube to the British to put in their tea.

Meantimes Airliner is struggling with finances, which is barely surprising in current circs in which so much more interest in terms of available capital lies in AI, space or preparations for war. Disappointing from the website for lighter-than-air lovers like myself is a lack of technicalities: possibly the only airship I've ever seen without the accompanying gaseous capacity unless I'm missing something.

We hope it succeeds, and despite its recent nose-dive that amply demonstrated the fact that one thing about being lighter than air is a susceptibility to its whims in the form of gusts vertical and horizontal; from which I suffered frequently whilst heavier than air.

Ed. The lump was invented by a Moravian man in order to make life easier for his wife although he went bankrupt ~ which probably didn't ~ and was revived by mass production in Germany. A 'sugar-cube square-pants' key-ring is available on our merch page.

Re: Industrialise

And in an unlikely resurgence on the part of Detroit, here's a sell-out con with no burning man required. No mistake the aforementioned Y Combinator is increasingly selecting material bits over bytes, now we're waking up to the fact that nations producing little or nothing are on the road to perdition in an unstable world... which judging from the UK government's DMs, doesn't seem to be bothering anyone here.

HyLight

If you like drones, and you like airships ~ I like both ~ then you (like Y Combinator) will like these inflatables that are designed to cruise around inspecting power-lines and so forth. They're from France, and where else could they be looking at the iron-work?

We're Going UP, UP, UP...

I like to review UP partners' annual 'state of the nation' report because it's as good a round-up as any as to where tech ~ and drones in particular ~ is headed.

I've taken screen-shots of various slides that make up the report, which we shall go through together and I've given each a pertinent heading... so sit back, relax and shut the fuck up.

Influencer: in 1971 most young people wanted to be an astronaut (in my day, train driver), whereas now they want to be an influencer. Well welcome to my world, mwah-ha, mwah-ha, mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Solo Founder: Given all of the tools available, it is possible for an individual to build a unicorn practically single-handedly. In fact I've done so myself, though it's eating the geraniums.

Drone Dominance Program: The US War Department has one (and so does the UK, though we call it the DJI store).

72 Hours: about as long as the Department took from bid to acquisition of Skydio's drones... nearer 72 months in the UK am thinking?

Maritime Action Plan: They've one of those too. Ours is 'how do we get that three billion pound aircraft-carrier out of Norway, where it's broken down again?

Steve Jobs: said tech only worked when married to the Arts and Humanities, when it 'makes our hearts sing'. He was not wrong, but needed to see a cardiologist.

$250 million: Messrs Patrick and Tyler are offering grants up to the amount to those redefining how the future should look. These guys have more money than sense.

The Kinetic Age: is what UP define it as being, and who's to say they're wrong?

The Long Tale

T-P was the nomenclature as I recall for a turning point in the flight management system on either the Airbus or Boeing ~ I can't remember which ~ and that's where we find ourselves around about now. We were all upset at being ripped off by Faulty Towers last month, but you have to choose your battles and mine won't be with Vulture Capitalists who've more experience than I have at screwing people over... so let's move on.

But I look at the stats pertaining to the website, and the message coming over loud and clear is "Your inventions suck." The one visit the website got this month was mine, and how sad is that?

In contrast the blog has risen like Dr Frankenstein's monster and now leads a life of its own (see below), whether I feed it or not. Bizarrely too, there aren't many more visits to each of its individual posts either... though there are exceptions featuring 'one-offs' like aircraft crash analyses that garner 1000's of views in days.

But that's not what we're about, is it? And so the question arises as to where all of those views come from and 'bots aside I think it's from a modern phenomenon in the form of the 'long tail', which broadly speaking says that much revenue accrues to platforms from a back-catalogue that consists of sales here-and-there which together amount to more than the occasional best-seller.

So let's run with it and see where it takes us, shall we?

Alton Towers' Nemesis #9: Let Me Entertain You

Check the 'Small Claims' procedure at County Court, which suggests we pursue all avenues to peace prior submitting the form online.

The way business works in the UK is that the corporates settle out of court, though where's the fun in that?

Our aim here is to extract £299's worth of entertainment at Blackstone's expense, given the cash is invariably going in the opposite direction. In fact at Robin Hood's 'Prince of Thieves' ride at the Towers, the emphasis is on stealing from the poor to give to the rich.

On reason I'd do it however is stems from the moniker Elon Musk awarded our PM for his handling as Director of Public Prosecutions and subsequent, which broadly exposes bias against people who are (a) old and (b) white... so that for instance at protests against fossil fuels or Israeli efforts in the Middle East, he's had a penchant for jailing retired colonels, vicars or people older than your granny.

For this reason if none other, he's the only leader of our country I've ever known to be greeted by chants of 'Keir Starmer's a wanker' at whichever football ground he attends in the effort to appear working-class.

There is a classic line in 'Blackadder' where 'Mad King George' (played by House's own Hugh Laurie in a comic role) says his people love him, shouting 'We hail you, George, we hail you' ...

... to which Lord Blackadder replies, 'We hate you, George, we hate you'.

Nonetheless we must move on, as there's more to life than politicking.

For instance I've a funeral to go to, and that's a part of life too.