Wednesday, April 22, 2026

Flash Mob


The cat in the car-park (above) and on holiday (below). Too nice a day to forego a quick check in water, and fact it floats level saves me from having to build a test-tank in the garden. It will of course be able to run on ice, as I intend for the local rink in due course.

And with no opposition from anglers or locals I withdrew my threat to block access to the pond, which in my view has a great future.

Shock and Awe


In the days leading up to a photo-shoot and possibly after reviewing CCTV footage, operators of the local playing-fields imposed a height-restriction at the entrance of the car-park that the platoon had identified as the perfect drop-zone for a PR shoot.

Taking a leaf out of Napoleon's book at Austerlitz, Gromit and I rose before dawn to load the vehicle and raise it to working temperature before departing in a cloud of AdBlu. Within minutes and in sight of the entrance, the 4x4 scaled the grassy knoll alongside like a Panzer unit in the Ardennes. With not even a dog-walker defending its ramparts, we had successfully invaded the car-park.

Ed. The author's grandfather and great uncle served in Gallipoli and are turning in their graves.

Let's Do the Space Warp Again


The timber yard around the corner sells a set of flags like this with which to stylishly pave the back garden... a circular table at its centre perhaps for the glass of Pimms in the sunshine. 

This tho' is the heat-shield from the top end of Artemis 2, adorning the ass of the uppermost capsule that contains the astronauts and which they rely upon during re-entry.

The figure to remember should anyone ask you about re-entering the atmosphere from a trip to the Moon is twenty-five. You'll be travelling at 25,000 m.p.h. and the temperature of that surface will be around 2,500°C... and what lies between you and that super-heated sauna is 25% plastic.

What most strikes you about space-flight is the level of near-perfection required in its attention to detail. The far depths of the oceans and farthest reaches of the sky are as unforgiving in physical terms as anywhere on the planet; as the losses of the Titan submarine and Columbia space-shuttle attest.

I always figured these tiles were ceramic, so that for future commercial off-the-shelf builds you could drop by Home Depot to search among kitchen and bathroom tiles.

What they are instead is a sort of cake-mix of epoxy resin, plus glass microspheres and silica fibres. These are popped into a form of baking-tray in the shape of a steel hexa-comb like honey-bees make, and then popped into an autoclave on low temp while you join friends at the pub for pre-meal drinks.

Artemis 2 (crewed) was preceded by Artemis 1 (uncrewed), with which they would experiment with a single-skip entry to Earth's atmosphere ~ like a pebble on a pond ~ with which to help reduce the speed. Except what it meant was that gases crept into the seams of the tiles and expanded upon re-entry to blow parts of the tiles off.

What they told the crew prior this month's re-entry therefore was that they'd go for a 'ballistic' or full-on entry instead. Which is one reason why what the astronauts do is sit down with the kids and the household paperwork, explaining what to do with it should tiles designed to a 1960s recipe fail.

Incidentally the difference with moonshots is that unlike a return from orbiting the Earth, there's an extra 8000 m.p.h. to dispose of; and the best way of imagining it is that the gravitational pull of the planet acts not unlike a coin-vortex. What you're on is effectively the solar system's biggest roller-coaster, because it's all uphill for a small part of the way leaving the Moon, and accelerating downhill for the remainder.

Used to tell my own child at amusement parks how coin-vortices were ideal means of visualising the warping of gravitational fields as suggested by Einstein; he turning to me as often as not to say "Yeah right, loser."

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Completely Floored


They said it would need adhesive but as I said to the vicar, it fit like a condom.

On the strength of replacing this toilet end-to-end I have bid for the upgrade to the facilities on Artemis 2, which failed spectacularly only recently.

The bid required a name and they accepted 'Moonshine' only after rejecting my first suggestion, which was 'Moonshite'.

Transferable Skills


Used on the drones for many years since, an ideal way to drive holes through dodgy sheet material like alloys or carbon-fibre... or indeed vinyl flooring. To make holes for the piping, pre-drill a block and centre it over another before driving a spade-bit through. Access for pipes enabled here by running a Stanley knife from the edge.

Carpet Bombing


Blog's going great guns and there's even a faction out there with a forum discussing aspects of replacing bathrooms suites by my own methods. And whilst I could have patented this one here, it is intended purely for the benefit of humanity and funded by my philanthropic foundation.

Lacking the necessary carpet-fitting skills I found a get-around in the shape of this giant paper template of the bathroom, for a cut-out-and-keep vinyl floor using the bargain-basement off-cut that I shall soon be running around on naked.

There's a book out there somewhere about a man who planned to make a 1:1 scale map of the world, and once the floor is down I shall be offering this life-size map of the bathroom which ~ stitched together with your own contributions ~ can be used to bring his dream to life.

As I said to that pizza-delivery guy, 'It's all about what you can do for others' and 'Where's the fucking mayo?'.

Captains Blog Stardate 21-APR-26

Need to get the drone over to the car-park at the local playing fields for a PR shot for the website, but they've put a height restriction in at the gate. Options, re-design for a six-inch shorter cat or find an alternative way in... which looking at it on the way home yesterday evening looked eminently possible.

Thereafter it is waders on and over to the local fish-pond for a static flotation test ~ if the locals are still as hostile I shall threaten to block the straits. Expect the craft still to float nose-down at rest, which can be solved with more weight at the rear in shape of battery-packs. For aerodynamic reasons I do not want the C of G migrated rearward unduly, so shall look at options to up the buoyancy at the forward end.

On the domestic front in preparation for the new toilet ~ and you don't get pulled off projects for that at Lockheed Martin ~ I've put new flooring down myself at a cost of just £50, undercutting the original quote by nearly 90%. Yes, Elon Musk has done that with launch-vehicles... but can he do it with vinyl flooring?