WIZZAIR: the Apology

Earlier today I posted to suggest the hamster in the advertisement faced the wrong way on the wheel, and asked ChatGPT to amend... which we can all agree, it made a great job of:

I now realise the hamster is in fact attempting to escape the wheel in order to book a flight with the airline.

Nonetheless I discovered it prohibits hamsters from flying on whichever route, and thus Hilton equalises from the edge of the box in the dying moments of this post:

Ed. Get a life.

Kit Cat #11

Bit of a mismatch at the prow between the height of each boom. Only amounts to a half-inch or so and something Boeing would surely sign off, but it offends my pride.

With a jig and better materials it would likely be brought within an acceptable range but here I went on to drive a dome-headed screw into the end of each boom so that a rubber band could be stretched between them.

This ameliorates the issue, and as you can see from the pilot-eye view it's not really a game-stopper.

Kit Cat #10

Backer-board used as a foot-well, which like the parcel-shelf subs for a wing-box.

Kit Cat #9

Single width of backer-board used as a parcel-shelf or battery-bay at the rear; while also stiffening the centre-section. There is no charge for storing a cabin-bag here.

A Word from the Author

The stats are in, and I can now confirm a total of 118,180 views for the month. If I have to be honest, it is down to a general loathing of humanity that we all share. My aim in all of this is simple. If during that time in the office when you're pretending to work over a cappuccino you piss yourself laughing so the boss is more inclined to let you go... then I've served my purpose.

Martin Parr's iconic portrait taken when the camera fell over

Kit Cat #8: The Venerable Bead

I've re-attached those accessory rails and to help secure the whole I've run a bead of adhesive along every crevice visible from this perspective, with the exception of my bum-crack. Once cured I'll flip it over for the same on the underside.

First impressions are the seat could be mounted a little further forward: the base is pitched here exactly half-way along those three-foot uprights.

At the same time to stiffen things up further I shall mount a foot-rest on the lower half of the uprights and a parcel-shelf high up at the rear to support battery-packs. It would benefit from a foreplane for the same reason, but I'd like it to be able to slide up to a drowning man so I get to appear on Saving Lives at Sea for a fat fee.

Were this destined to be a drone, a pair of X-braces front and rear of the centre-section would suffice, and were they collapsible the construction could be closed like an accordion for storage or transport ~ especially were the decks hinged to fold like a pigeon's wings.

It promises to be acceptably light, eminently scalable and fairly swift with sufficient power and sizeable airscrews ~ and as an airboat it'll negotiate the shallows better than Lady Gaga.

It could support a couple of electric outboards instead... though they're heavier, more expensive and prone to drag at speed. They would also ground whenever the draught proves insufficient, or else get clogged by debris and vegetation.

Signed prints of the above are available on our merch pages, each with an imprint of my bum-crack on the reverse.

A note from Prime Minister Andy Burnham: 'This morning the blog's author handed publishers Summersdale a note to say unless we heard from them by 2 o'clock that they were prepared to hand over the text of ebook 'Penis Pending', a state of war would exist between us. I have to tell you now that no such undertaking has been received and that consequently I need a cup of tea.'

Kit Cat #7: Back Stop

Here's a rear-view of what on a scaled 16' watercraft will be ample accommodation of around 24" square. Big as an IKEA armchair it's likely a little too much, and if we reduce its proportions it allows decks and uprights to be a little longer as they are effectively cut from the same cloth.

Note at this stage that we do not insert the foam in the back-rest: step away from  the vehicle if you could, Sir? That will allow us to drive a screw into each side-bar to fasten the seat-back to either boom to reduce flexure further.

You can see the advantage of foam sheets as thick as the timbers, because then we'd be able to double-skin each element of the seat. As it happens, in a process of continuous improvement we could eliminate separate skins altogether because the backer-board is already double-skinned.

Note how I've included just a soupçon of recline in the chair for your comfort, and a cushion will of course be provided. The recline is done when all is fixed together, by applying sufficient force to bend the fasteners and brackets... a process that takes years to perfect, and which is handed down from one generation to the next.

Ideally the seat-back would be perforated to some extent to allow the fullest draft to pass through to the air-screws, but that's a job for another day or even someone else, isn't it Gromit?