Friday, November 21, 2025

Monomania #12: Cha Cha Slide


With the ski under arrest (without charge) at the prow, slide the ski forward along the keel until it bends to the comeliest shape you could possibly imagine on a boat.

You're probably wondering where precisely this should be, but it's a practise that is passed down over generations. By way of a tip, if you hear yourself shouting "Yeah baby, oh yeah baby!" then it's probably about right... add screws to secure.

You may notice that the ski is a fraction short, for it should in fact overhang the rear of the keel by around 160mm so as to match the length of the lats: this is to enable the boat to be stood on its rear-end for drainage and subsequent storage. I refuse to buy any more material at this stage, however, and shall patch it with an off-cut.

If it helps, the length of the boat is around 2050mm and the ski circa 2100 or 83". I am trying to get all of these measures to match stock length of material, but at this stage prefect is the enemy of the good... as is the spell-checker.

I once considered writing spell-checked novels, and an excerpt from a Jane Austen read 'Darcy paused his letter-writing, penis in hand, as Elisabeth entered the room.'