If you want a guide to the British class system, this week has been as good a guide as any. Top, the arrest of Lucy Letby, a nurse who had already emailed Cheshire's constabulary offering to assist.
MO in this case (as she's working class and living with her parents):
Body cams, handcuffs, stab vests will be required. As large a team as poss please on the day. Park well away and rush around in order to alert all of the neighbours and provide the best poss footage on Netflix. Apprehend suspect in bed, ideally, for dramatic effect. Repeat, three times in all, using same technique, especially as she has offered no resistance whatsoever. Consider use of taser.
And in contrast, the apprehension of one of those elected to 'represent' the working class (living with his husband in Camden Town when not weekending in the country house instead):
Allow three days prior at least in order to facilitate shredding of documents and removal of electronic devices. Arrive discretely in black limousines so that it looks like a regular collection for business at Westminster. Provide door-step 'bobby' to reassure the international press that we do things properly and in a civilised manner here in the UK. Dress code formal, ideally dark grey suits please? Knock and wait for the butler before presenting ID and asking if it suits the lord if you pop in for a moment, with the proviso we can come back later if staff are shredding.
Out-ranking Netflix's viewing stats on Nurse Letby tho' are the Crewkerne Gazette's with its refreshing use of AI to bring politicians to account... as they're no good at doing so themselves [inset].
In contrast to Lord Mandelson's, Letby's guilt looks less certain each passing week, and despite the case being the most confounding you could imagine deliberating as a juror I'm guided by the fact that we're still great at miscarriages of justice.
But at least we can still get up on our digital soap-boxes and complain at this sort of thing... which is why I am happy to stay here and enjoy the Marmite.
Ed. He's not, he just left it too late to live anywhere else.
