It was driving down the M6 motorway that I first saw one of those things up there on the left, stood outside a boarded-up building, but weeks or months later that I would find out what it was; a security monitor, that subs for a security guard.
Think about that, and what it does for one of the few remaining jobs in a world that is (a) increasingly dystopian and crime-ridden* and (b) falling over itself to sub robots for people.
We've all been aghast this week at the antics performed by humanoids celebrating the Chinese New Year, to the extent we needed a lot of convincing it wasn't simply more AI being served up to our eyeballs.
And it set me thinking as to who'd want to spend upwards of $20,000 on performing bots, when you can hire a clown for kids' parties at discount rates nowadays...most of them likely to be ex-CEOs who can provide tax-advice too?
But you realise these make ideal guards to patrol premises at night; something that appears not to have occurred to Unitree, who manufacture the dog and 'droid above (with apologies to the Dog and 'Droid tavern in the Cotswolds).
Accordingly the apps they list on their website are altogether more innocuous, and include 'data and training' besides football and boxing.
It does raise the question of how they might be recharged, as night-watchmen do with tea and pork pies?
And I'm guessing this might follow existing practise, and feature a chair where they can sit periodically to recover while still remaining vigilant?
So it is that I plan on filing a patent today, outlining one with a butt-plug.
* Ed. Yes, and thank you too for lightening the mood.
