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| PM returns to Downing Street in his German taxi |
The title stems from a podcast featuring Armando Iannucci, creator of the national treasure that is Alan Partridge, and is derived from a speech given by then leader of the Labour Party Jeremy Corbyn: who read out that stage direction in his speech. It is said that David Cameron could memorise a speech, one of the few things he seems to have got right, but you have to go back to the likes of Churchill to find a leader who both wrote and delivered a speech.
I'd like to be a speech-writer (although there are lots of things I'd like to be) and so here's an opening the PM can use for free during this traditional conference season:
(Strong message here, insert saline solution to create tear)
Welcome delegates!
(Polite ripple of applause.)
In the Britain I grew up in they used to say that whereas kids seeing someone drive a luxury car in America would one day hope to do the same, here they would throw stones at them instead.
(Murmurs of agreement.)
But let me tell you that we've come a long way since then, and now our kids steal luxury cars and export them to Dubai!
(Whoops and hollers.)
You know, with my wife and our two point four kids I was recently in Germany, and I saw how all public service vehicles were German, and all taxis were German.
And I told my wife, THAT's how the UK should be! And I stand before you to tell you that just six months on, vehicles the emergency services and taxi-drivers use here are German too!
(More whoops and hollers. Remove flag from under seat and wave.)
