Flat-Cat Build #12

Sometimes it's about knowing when to stop, so I'll hang the cat from the rafters for now to see whether its foam-and-skewer methodology can be applied to the mono.

I've one such already built out of the same stock sheet of laminated ply, where you can see that to provide the required stiffness I extended keel and outriggers proud of the deck; using the aforementioned technique I believe we can make that simpler again.

I'll retain two cross-bars at the rear, though I may attach a rudder to the nearest of the two here to see whether that might be enough to offset the torque of a single motor (which would bank the craft in the opposite direction).

Bear in mind motor, speed controller and battery constitute some 90% of the costs: replacing two with just one of each would practically halve the overall cost.

It is therefore back to Wickes to buy another sheet before we start building... and don't worry because I'll hold your hand throughout so there's no need for tears.

Livestream of Consciousness

On the basis of some metrics the Chinese economy has already overtaken the US tho' it takes a 'tuber to show why: his home-build hack is able to live-stream video from altitude. The Western military-industrial model inflates prices underwritten by taxpayers, within economies appearing to live beyond their means like a junkie on credit. This is unlikely to change without external stimulus: which generally needs to be military conflict.

Flat-Cat Build #11

Oh go on, just one more before bed-time! Here I've used the remaining lengths of each spar ~ using the original 'good' end at the rear where we'll mount the motors ~ and fixed them to the bridge in the same way as the shoes were fitted previously.

Beginning to take shape now, we can see that the bulk of the buoyancy lies in the central bridge, which will form a static waterline. This will raise the 22" carbon-fibre airscrews half-way out of the water at rest, where at slower speeds they will act as water-screws.

At higher voltages the twin motors coinciding with the tail end of each boom will be able to drive the craft onto the plane, immune to damage from sub-sea obstacles, debris or vegetation.

The catamaran configuration will also allow the drone to emerge from the water in the shallows, recovering energy from the sun like a cold-blooded croc.

Shall we make it so?

Flat-Cat Build #10

It's time to shod our centre-deck and this can be quite painful, so if you know of a centre-deck whisperer now is the time to ask them to steady the beast during this procedure.

Our composite foam sheet is a nominal 20mm and to confuse matters planed timber spars retail at anything between 18mm and 21mm depending on what you can find. I went for the former as they're lighter than alternatives whilst still able to support each of the skis.

It does mean however that the sides of the shoes need slackening off prior to glue being applied to the base of each pontoon. Once an end is slipped over the foam, you should be able to push the remainder over without too much trouble.

There may be a drop of adhesive squeezed out of each end, but these can be wiped away by the whisperer with a "There there, what did the nasty man do to you?".

With the time now four-thirty though we must settle down with tea and cake in our armchairs like Abe Lincoln, except that he wasn't watching the football results.

Flat-Cat Build #9

Take a matching length of square-section spar and fit two of the laths that we made to either side to create a 'shoe' that we'll use to bond a ski to each pontoon.

We have to go to these lengths because insulating foam is generally of the order of 30kg/cu/m and not really able to accommodate screws, even given various types of plug used for driving them into plasterboard for instance.

Foams of around 100kg/cu/m accept fasteners, but these tend to be exotic types like PVC which are provided by specialists and cost a lot more.

I once used them extensively but the world has changed since and it is now entirely feasible to build practically 'disposable' boats in great number: like BIC biros.

Incidentally a metric cube of foam weighing thirty kilos might not sound overly light to you or I, but it is compared to one of water that weighs around a tonne.

I drive chemicals around in metric IBCs or Intermediate Bulk Containers, and you don't want one of those dropping on either foot.

Flat-Cat Build #8

Now divide the stripwood into eight equal parts, like this.

We're not the only ones to appreciate the flexibility of using lots of pieces of wood in order to assemble something altogether stronger, as Romans used to do in order to create handles for axes in the event Home Depot ~ Domus Depositum as they knew it ~ were out of stock.

They even get to feature in Lincoln's armchair in Washington DC:

Flat-Cat Build #7

Always considered it to be my 'signature dish' when it comes to marine builds, and here I've driven kebab-sticks into the pontoon sides to secure the bridge. I drive them home with a two-pence piece although foreign coins are also acceptable... just send me whatever you can afford.

The sticks are from Asda (Wal-Mart as was, effectively) and cost just one pence each, which is much cheaper than the flush rivets the likes of Airbus have to use.

Always remember though to confirm with a supervisor at the checkout that they are suitable for marine construction as well as kebabs.

Who Let the Bots Out?

Don't know what it is about my browsing history, but I'd like to be free from Google bots casting their moral judgement upon it...

You Raise Me Up

We may not make much any more, which is why we are currently agonising over daring call China an enemy; whereas for Kipling and his 'great game' everyone was to be considered an enemy to one extent or another. They had moral certainty, we don't.

But the vestiges of British expeditionary vision still feature amongst the global DNA. What links this drone footage of the ascent of Everest with the spirit we once could muster? Well the British effectively invented mountaineering as an endeavour when they went climbing Alps for fun at a time most people were using them for herding, or else a scenic back-drop.

In an echo of the Titanic loss twelve years prior, Mallory would be freeze-dried on Chomolungma ~ which sounds like the band that sang 'Tubthumping' but isn't ~ but less than thirty years later a British expedition was the first to conquer the peak that itself still conquers so many.

The last member of the 1953 team ~ a Sherpa who went most of the way there, all the more remarkable given he did the heavy-lifting ~ died this week at ninety-two.

There used to be a personal history on DJI's website that is I suspect is long gone, but described how its founder grew up on Hong Kong infused with British culture not the least of which was Led Zeppelin... prior growing the firm to the world's foremost drone developer across the water in Shenzen.

Some among my co-pilots were also from Hong Kong, a place where people were less ashamed to be British than the British themselves; from 1997 on they had to choose between a Chinese and a British passport, as they could not hold both.

There is no doubt in my mind that had in this instance the British passport been chosen, then we would not be watching a drone climb the world's highest mountain.

There's a time for handing over the baton to a more self-confident people, but it's nice to sit in armchairs watching and remembering how one way or another, we're all connected.*

* Check out how to nullify your ego with my box-set in store, including signed photo of me!

Flat-Cat Build #6

I like to seal the forward and rear end of each pontoon with a water-based paint.

This is because (a) it's an ideal means of de-stressing and (b) the spray-paint we'll be using would otherwise dissolve the foam.

Polyester resin does so too, though if it floats your boat then epoxy resin is inert in this respect.

It costs more than champagne, however, while not tasting nearly so good.

Asphalt (pron. ass felt)

Ever lived your whole life under an illusion, and wake up one day realising that you thought you knew who invented tarmac roads... but you didn't?

Well (and thanks are due here to Auto Shenanigans on the 'tube) it wasn't exactly the guy in Scotland who developed Macadam, but the guy above who added the tar.

In summary, the Romans were using stones of different sizes to build roads here in the UK with layers of different sizes.

In their case they got generally bigger toward the top, and Telford here and a guy in France perfected this, paving Paris with cobbles until 1968 when students used them against riot police.

Macadam's insight was to upend these layers and to use ever-finer aggregates for a smoothest possible surface... but even this could not withstand motorised traffic.

Combinations of tar and aggregate could:yet was a mistake Hooley came across on his travels.

He encountered a lovely smooth road where tar had been spilled and in the effort to clear it up, had been mixed with slag and spread like Nutella.

As ever we stand on the shoulders of a character who was likely sacked for spillage.

Have you ever laboured under a life-long illusion? If so, don't bother me with it.

Flat-Cat Build #5

I've DMs from moaning Minnies asking where exactly they're supposed to get a jig from? I'll say to you what I said to them: "In the field and under attack from Soviet storm-troopers, who you gonna call... Ghostbusters?".

But having got bored glueing one angle at a time in the cold I've retreated to the conservatory (so yes it was Colonel Colin, in the Conservatory, with a Silicone Gun) where I've used weights ~ sandbags, soldier ~ to apply pressure at the lower end of the bridge and clamp at the upper...

...prior to applying  a filets of glue over the remaining junctions to secure each part.

I suggest tho' that you do this where there are no pets, or people with lives.

I could use white adhesive to make it clearer, but it's my party and I'll wear what I want.

Breaking Good

This day will ever be the one people either remember for peace breaking out in the Middle East, or for me starting a new catamaran.

This is Tel Aviv airport, a place I once flew to from Istanbul... tell us a story, tell us a story!

Well Turkish ATC don't talk to Greek ATC and so on 'Box 2' you'd give the latter advance notice prior entering their airspace; afterward returning that radio set to 121.50 (the international distress frequency) with headsets off and speakers up.

As we awaited handover from Greek ATC to Israeli, I hear over that radio someone saying "Aircraft at 35,000 feet, identify yourself" and peering over the newspaper I couldn't help noticing from the altimeter that we too were at 35,000 feet.

Been a while since I dropped a newspaper quite so quickly.

One air force ~ and no prizes for guessing which ~ used airliners to sneak around undetected by flying just below them, the primary radar return masked by the bulk of the larger aircraft.

Flat-Cat Build #4

Here the main deck has been rigged up on the first side of the bridge, and all that remains is to use the gun and a kitchen knife to apply a filet down the side opposite that with the weights.

If you're not confident at applying these sort of seals, what I used to do was offer to install a friend's bathroom ~ practising on sides of the bath, toilet and basin ~ then leaving on the pretext of a dental appointment.

There are fast-cure adhesives out there, although they tend to cost twice the price and so we'll call this a day for now.

If you wanted to produce lots of these in short order, you'd assemble what is called a 'jig' that you can drop all parts into for fixing together... but then Rome wasn't built in a day, was it?

So let's have a cup of tea and a Bakewell tart instead, eh Gromit?

Flat-Cat Build #3

Here's the main deck as it'll be, and the sides of the bridge. You might wonder why the sides are cut like this instead of in the other direction, and this is because each will have at least one machine-cut edge that we can use to advantage.

See the nick I made by mistake on the left side of that first cut? Well for instance we can hide that down one of the sides, can't we Gromit?

I was going to mark the 'good' sides with drawing pins, but I can't find them and so I'll use the strip that has been etched on the sheet during manufacture as a guide.

Flat-Cat Build #2

A joy to work with, this material can be cut as easily as plasterboard... if you don't know how to do that, ask an adult to turn on YouTube.

Flat-Cat Build #1

We shall start at the very beginning as Julie Andrews (who just turned ninety) sang most memorably, it being a very good place to start.

Building upon all we've learned I've gone for pre-laminated XPS in sheet form and in measurements of 20 x 60 x 120mm; along with a pair of spars 18mm square and of laths at 34mm wide and around 4mm thick.

Thrown into the mix are 100mm hydro-skis formed of PVC sections, which are now widely available in DIY stores in various widths, lengths, thicknesses and colours.

Finally an adhesive-cum-filler  of which there are countless to choose from, the best I've used recently called STIXALL because it sticks all, am guessing.

I've sourced the laminate at Wickes, for B & Q sell (or try to sell) it for three times the price... where exactly do they get off on that?

So let's get building, shall we Gromit?

Creative Destruction

I'd be the first to admit there's been a loss of mojo recently, but I placed ads on the social media and flyers on lampposts and someone found it behind a wheelie-bin in a state of bewilderment... but now its home.

Accordingly what the proj needs, I decide this Monday morning, is fresh impetus. As a part of that I re-examine the catamaran because ~ taking all we've learned so far ~ I consider it the best platform for testing our objectives. These, on reflection, are making seaworthy drones with the minimum of fuss and operating them with a total absence of moveable surfaces.

By way of a fresh start I hang the two latest mono-skis, both of them already fitted with rear-mounted contra-rotating motors and propellers, scrapping earlier builds in a frenzy of destruction like Vincent Van Gogh... whilst retaining both ears.

All is not lost, as we shall re-use the PVC skis on the new build.

Hold on tight, as it'll be quite a ride.

Turning Drones Into Apples

Used them for decades, and Apple's laptops have never really breached the £1000 price point whilst subs have tumbled in price.

As we'll see this week, my conviction is that the price of aerial drones is maintained like much else at an artificially high level; and we can avoid that happening to such things on water from hereon in.

DJI is the world's largest manufacturer of drones, although the Ukrainians do make their own types by the million now that the market is polarised (bizarrely) between those using them for aerial bikini-shots on tropical beaches, and others to incinerate Russians in tanks.

The latter requires a wholly different approach: distributed means of manufacture using basic skills and materials and able to relocate at short notice; against mega-factories with robots and sanitised production lines in places like Shenzen.

Along consumer lines however you'll notice how DJI have avoided the pile 'em high approach of the conventional Chinese model for Apple's more bijou strategy of high prices and high-street stores that you feel under-dressed in.

Hence DJI's Mini 5 Pro bundle will cost you £1,115.

Numbers by iPhone, prices by MacBook.

The screen-grab is from the Mini 5's display: easily mastered, eh?

Net-Man

Way back we saw how fishing nets are strewn across Ukrainian highways to protect from incursion by drones; but in a more proactive twist they are now being fired at aerial quads to tangle the propellers and bring them down.

Sounds new but (inset) some among Rome's gladiators from two millennia prior used only a net and trident in combat... and no armour.

Such glads were called 'retiarius' viz. 'Net-Man'... a Marvel super-hero to come? 

Why I Don't Build Aerial Drones (Sponsor CAA)

It is said that the US innovates, Europe regulates and China imitates; although we can expect to see the first and last of these swap places in coming decades. Never one to be left behind, the UK's Civil Aviation Authority is keen to get in on the act and stifle any form of innovation whatsoever when it comes to designing, building, testing, operating and selling anything that flies whatsoever with the exception of a paper dart... although they're working on that.

Everything that I ever recall being applied to the least and largest of aircraft I can see being incorporated into model flying viz. licensing, registration, fees, reporting, medicals, compliance departments and on, and on, and on, and on...

This cut-out-and-keep guide for the fridge door demonstrates how everything no matter what its size needs regulating, training, licensing, monitoring and operating in constrained circumstances which you will need to be wholly conversant with at risk of prosecution.

The two principle effects will be (as I've heard from commercial drone builders and operators) that it will stifle innovation and ensure the market remains dominated by Far Eastern providers; whilst at the same time dividing users as we have seen with two- and four-wheeled vehicles into a law-abiding class upon which the burden falls, and a criminal class who couldn't care less.

This in turn means that the CAA will pursue cases against individuals, unless they are Michael O'Leary, which won't matter because the legal system is falling apart and the prisons are full to overflowing. It will however ensure that revenue is spent on unprofitable endeavours, though that's the modus operandi (in lock-step with the rest of Europe) going forward.

If you 'working' down there at Gatwick, it's Monday morning so get a cappuccino as there's that important consignment of paper-clips to deal with before lunch?

For definition of low speed mode see chapter 4, sub-section 16, para 9, line 5: 'We don't know'.

RYAN... ear Death Experience

Something largely escaped notice last week, but had an airliner run out of fuel with the predictable number of fatalities it would have headlined all of the UK’s remaining ~ although largely irrelevant ~ media. Unheralded by a cringeable ‘another-on-time-flight’ ditty over the PA, a Ryanair 737 landed with just 220kg of fuel… just sufficient to wet the sides of the tanks.

Doing so the crew violated the two pieces of advice I recall someone being given upon receiving a command with an airline based at Gatwick: don’t fly through thunderstorms and don’t divert from your alternate.

There’s the rub, for though most airlines harbour a proportion of pilots who loathe their employer, in half a lifetime of flying airliners in and around Europe I never knew an airliner as loathed by so many of its own pilots as this one.

The principal reason was that captains are supposed to be masters of their own destiny, whereas nobody I ever met flying for Ryanair considered anyone other than the CEO to be masters of their ship: to the extent that there was pressure at every step to minimise the operating costs, and not least those of fuel.

It would therefore make eminent sense during Storm Amy for the crew on a flight to Prestwick in Scotland to nominate Edinburgh as an alternate, it being a good deal less costly in terms of time and fuel, and somewhat easier for onward journeys. Bear in mind that for cheapskate airlines, Prestwick is Glasgow the way that Sweden can be Denmark if it's a less costly option for the airline.

The BBC’s amber weather warning for Storm Amy stretched across Scotland, however, and my own 10k run set for the following morning ~ on the Scottish Borders ~ would be cancelled accordingly.

Bear in mind two things that you don’t know about flying. Firstly gusts approaching 100 m.p.h. at ground level can be twice that at levels you’ll be flying on the approach to an airport. Secondly jet engines chug fuel like nobody’s business at such levels, where they are least efficient and where drag and power requirements are at a maximum.

To give you an idea of that fuel remaining in this case, 220kg is around 300 litres of fuel. During the cruise, similar airliners that I flew burned about 3000 litres/hour … but during take-off that was around 9000 litres/hr. This is 150 litres each minute, and so you get a feel for how far 300 litres is going to get you.

Standards aren’t what they were, but that’s not the fault of pilots so much as authority’s deference to airlines and to anal-retentive bullies running them. The incident here is being investigated by the AAIB (where ‘A’ stands for accident) which is probably a good thing, as it's people with two testicles between them where the CAA has only one. (And when they say safety is their priority, bear in mind it's actually their ass and the gilt-edged pension).

A second principal reason airliners are ever safer and pilots ever less so is the ‘Waymo’ effect and what it does for drivers of anything. I spent too many years teaching people how to fly, but what I heard at an annual Airbus training conference said it all: pilots no longer have the opportunity to scare themselves shitless, and the first time they do it's with you on board.

This in turn is because increasingly training is done in a virtual environment instead of a place where you actually die if you make a mistake; and because light aircraft are priced like everything today beyond anyone’s affordability.

Finally there's the ‘foreign-flag’ effect… conventionally safety becoming less assured the farther East you flew, toward newly-capitalised countries which could finally replace moribund state airlines with no-frills alternatives; or where baksheesh remained an element in the equation. I’ve worked in the first type of place where you could pay someone in the aviation authority to sit your exam, and in the second where $10,000 dollars in the right pocket would advance you to captain without the need to pass Go.

I should have been there though… my record in the 737 having been a landing at night at Paris CDG in a similar storm: winds 33 knots gusting 41 at a ninety degree tangent... second attempt, the jet complaining Windshear, Windshear at first such that continuing would have management all over you like a rash.

Fly safe!

During Storm Amy the aircraft made two approaches at Prestwick, another at Edinburgh and a ‘lucky fourth’ at Manchester. My aim is not to apportion blame, but to bitch about it like pilots do instead.

Screen-shot courtesy(ish) of Guardian News.

Cloaking Device

I've had emails from people concerned about how they might be viewed turning up at Ozarks meets in a boat with skirting-board skis and the great news is: you need no longer because Wickes DIY store now supply uPVC skirting trims in 30, 45 & 65 millimetre widths, and in black too!

Needless to say I've added a first review of the 65mm width, praising its suitability for practically all maritime applications at the droned-down scale that you and I are building at.

Just remember that it is cloaking trim you'll be asking for instead of skirting but you can forget those price chandlers... just get down to Wickes!

No sponsorship was involved in this post, though frankly it should have been.

Moment of Foment

Eric Schmidt ~ who effectively sponsored this platform ~ recently said that the one thing he missed during the search revolution was the fact that phone numbers were ever likely to be the key to ongoing social mediation; chances are the man inventing the phone 150 years ago didn't anticipate that either.

I've worked in foam for decades and always felt it was a contender... and nowadays most of the experimental builds featuring on YouTube (thanks again Eric) are rarely pursued without expanded plastic foam of one kind or another.

This one, in Germany I'm guessing, carries paper aeroplane modelling to extremes however. It's not truly flat like something we'd assemble from jig-sawed templates in balsa, but it's not far off.

This pic best illustrates, as you can see that XPS sheet (like Depron) has been glued to each side of a framework that in view of its complexity is likely CNC or laser-cut.

Designed nominally as an indoor flyer, given the scale it's inaugural flight took place outdoors, as seen here.

What also made it possible that I didn't foresee ~ though no-one driving Teslas saw it either ~ was how electric motors would drive experimentation even moreso than materials.

Bad boy! Bad, bad boy!

(Ed. XPS or eXtruded Poly Styrene... don't ever turn up not knowing your plastics).

APX Hydroplane Record Attempt

Before we launch, there's a young man who is standing on my shoulders ~ and it's killing me ~ at university in Southampton who's attempting to break the electrical-powered speed record on water.

This currently stands at 114 m.p.h. by a hydroplane which was built by a team from Princeton University... I myself only get out of bed to compete with the world's elite (Ed. he doesn't, and is still in bed).

I can't recall his name, as these things are unimportant, but like us he's gone with air-propellers instead of screws as these are more efficient among the speeds he is aiming for... as per the handout he provides on the accompanying vid.

I guessed he was testing in Southampton, because I recognised the view of Fawley oil-refinery from days I lived in Lee-on-Solent and drove a truck to top up customer Calor Gas.

I appear on LinkedIn as Director of Renewables, and my job as pump-attendant as a teenager features as Petroleum Distribution Executive (with spots).

Running on Rails

Before we depart railways (from Platform 5), do check out Fern Bahn's epic footage of the last steam locos in industrial service... in the Bosnian town of Tuzla, where I went for a wedding and am gutted to have missed out on this means of making it a most special day for all involved.

You just have to love all of it: and doesn't all the mud, coal, dust, smoke and sheer volume of carbon being emitted make life feel worthwhile?

And a shout out too for the university team from Sheffield (where else?), for having won the Institute of Mechanical Engineers railway challenge last year.

But now I really must get back to building boats, and out of this dressing-gown in order to lead the field.

Locomotion

I'm not sure the core readership is at all interested in what I have to say about the various transport museums I visit, but these are glimpses of Locomotion museum located on what was originally the Stockton-to-Darlington railway line which began life 200 years ago and featured the first steam-locomotives running upon iron rails. 

It did eventually offer services to passengers as well as freight, but the honour of being the first commercial rail service went to the Liverpool-Manchester railway that was pioneered by George Stephenson. I came here to see his locomotive ~ ROCKET ~ as it inaugurated the service having trounced all-comers during the Rainhill Trials.

The locomotive had been removed to the national railways museum in York just three weeks prior, though I didn't let that spoil my enjoyment.

Meanwhile I'd like regular readers to accommodate those forwarded from my review of the Locomotion museum amongst others I've posted on Google's pages: they're here to look at the pictures, and we welcome them on board!

Windermere Jetty Museum

I've brought you along for the ride with it being a wet Saturday morning!

The tag-line, ‘Stories of Boats and Steam’ is somewhat better than the name, ‘Windermere Jetty Museum’, but then perfect is the enemy of the good isn’t it?

Don’t let my smorgasbord put you off going either, but simply treat is a taster. 

Viewing then from top to bottom and left to right:

1/ The entrance to the refurbished building that opened in 2019 on the shores of Lake Windermere.

2/ The cafe, sumptuous views and fare, in my case a cauliflower soup with a soupçon of coconut milk.

3/ Triple expansion steam engine… each crankshaft bearing lubricated by its own oil-reservoir!

4/ In those proud days, toilets would often feature a name and this is the legendary “SL”.

5/ A selection of fast boats, nearest of which of wood and linen fabric construction not unlike an airship.

6/ East German hydroplane, fitted with the expansion-box invented thereabouts to boost power output.

7/ A boat was built around its engine, a Rolls-Royce derived from an airship: note the hand-crank.

8/ A lake steamer whose steering wheel appears ideal for reversing, but less so for cruising.

9/ An inboard four-stroke petrol engine: they don’t make them like that any more, fortunately.

10/ The float from a Short Sunderland flying boat, some built here, and converted later into a canoe.

11/ A boat-launched glider built by Slingsby and trialed unsuccessfully by the War Office in WW2.

12/ The way they ferried things across Windermere prior engines of any sort: with oars called ‘sweeps’.

13/ Workshop, where I guess those are thickness measurements in millimetres to check for corrosion.

14/ A glorious 1930s-era Chris-Craft from the US.

15/ Aluminium-bodied Albatross and Coventry Climax engine combination from the UK.

16/ Steamer Osprey used for lake tours, though sadly not today.

17/ A vintage sailboat, still in use today on the lake next door.

18/ Beatrix Potter’s boat: couldn't she have got something better given she owned a matching tarn?

Altogether a great day out with free parking if you spend £5 or more; the only criticisms a paucity of fridge-magnets and substitution of the steamer by a diesel for the cruise I didn't take anyway, what with Storm Amy passing through.