Saturday, August 30, 2025

Director's Cut: September 2011


The first recorded grant of a patent for exclusive rights to an invention went in 1421 to someone in Venice, for a boat he'd adapted for transporting marble. I’ve pursued patents since the early 1980s, not least because at the time the Science Reference library still existed in London: with its vast archive of historical patent documents in the form of printed volumes and microfiche. Entrance was free, requiring no pass of the sort required for instance by the British Library nowadays.

 

Most of what I designed at the time and since relates to different forms of transport, with a special interest in anything that flys or floats. I guess this reflects aspirations divided between the merchant navy and some form of flying. Ultimately, as is often the case with inventors and misfits, I never viewed myself as succeeding in either ~ though like me the many thousands of passengers I flew walked away unscathed.


My specific interest though always lay in the transition zone between water and air, which is considered ground-effect but which has been modified as ‘surface effect’ in order to encapsulate flight over water too. The library I referred to also at the time featured volumes of an annual called Janes Surface Skimmers, whose editor I spoke to occasionally and which covered emerging craft that were not quite boat or 'plane.


Sadly the annual would be discontinued, its entries subsumed back into the realm of regular shipping. This would be, I think, because the fantastic beasts that littered its pages either (a) ran short of funding (b) came to grief or (c) were simply ahead of a time that would see remarkable advances in electrical equipment, battery-packs and computing power. Principally if you overlooked hovercraft, the primary exponents of flight just above the water were invariably German, Italian or Russian.


The patent itself touches upon all of these issues, having been built and expensively tested at large scale, having failed that test upon water, and having been conducted at a time that confined experimentation to unwieldy forms of engine: worth recalling here that the aeroplane resulted from a shift from external to internal combustion.


Considering (b) however and discounting the largest-scale efforts of the Russians, wing-in-ground effect or WIGs generally suffered catastrophic loss in ways that had afflicted seaplanes like the Catalina: flight requires the widest span, whilst speed on water requires the narrowest. And the principal problem at that time, comparing to now, is that prototyping was considerably more expensive and loss of the prototype would generally terminate the project as well as the airframe.


Effectively this confined surface-effect craft to inland waterways, or at least 'til now, when sensors and processing power enable aircraft like Regent’s Seaglider to fly at infinitely adjustable height above waves, whether supported by hydrofoils or wings within ground-effect.


None of what went before nor what is advanced nowadays, however, addresses the issues raised in the patent in their entirety i.e. a simple watercraft that can translate from travel on water to flight above it, at high speed without fear of destruction.


For it remains the case that many such designs are unreliable except on the calmest seas. To a great extent the limitation still extends to hydrofoils, unless on the scale seen in challenges like the Americas Cup: which isn't cheap. As witness to all forms of transport, too, I recall how in all of those places where ferries ran on hydrofoils ~ Italy, Greece, Hong Kong and Russia ~ they were all withdrawn. This was principally because of the debris that litters harbours in particular, and the damage it would do regularly to hydrofoil surfaces. Yes, foils work nicely on videos and a turquoise sea, but life is not nearly so predictable.


There it is then: a design able to transition from high-speed on water to occasional flight above it when seas are smooth; lighter and more efficient than a conventional craft; easily built and requiring a minimum of both labour and exotic material... and which is finally suited to autonomous operation, or first-person-viewing from within the comfort of your living-room...


... whilst holding out the prospect of fitting a seat, and speeding off into the sunset.

Thursday, August 28, 2025

Silence of the Laminates #14


I've had an enduring pain in the chest, which I now realise stems from the fact that the motors on the fourth prototype were not truly aligned with the axis as they are on the three previous. And the key to good design ~ as with Apple from the get-go ~ is often a refusal to settle for anything less. It's why, as GBS suggested, progress invariably stems from unreasonable people. Were we all to be agreeable then we'd still be eating raw meat, turning it into a YouTube sensation and shifting the merch.

Accordingly I have swapped out the T-bracket securing the rear down-post and used an L-bracket pinned to one side instead, in order to leave the mounting spar flush to the backside of the motor, which is then fitted using two 2x20mm flathead bolts.

August has been used to finalise the configuration of the first POC viz. rear-mounted contra-rotating props which will be used exclusively to bank the craft into turns. What remains of the month will be used to prepare the ground for efforts during the next, which are to include:

(a)    updating the website to reflect the current state of affairs (feat. Coldplay)

(b)    constructing a hydro-static tank in the back garden

(b)    getting the motors 'turning and burning'

Asked to comment on where we go from here, CEO Colin Hilton said 'Construction of the test-tank is to us what the supersonic wind-tunnel is to NASA Ames. I've given it the green light, and it will be a brand-new facility after I rejected the proposal to re-purpose an existing raised flower-bed... which could nonetheless be converted in times of war.

Meantime a review of viewing stats has historically shown, as it has this month, that what the readership of the blog most want is a pictorial record of how prototypes are brought into being in the shed next door. Feedback I do receive from the non-English speaking world, 'Why you stupid man write stupid things instead of making boat?' we take to heart... we feel your pain.

(Ed. Stop digging.)

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

iDrone SE (Seat Extra)


LIVE STREAM FROM THE VUE CINEMA BOLTON 

Fed up with normal looking boats?

Yeah, man!!!

Ones that float?

Whoo-hoo!

Let me introduce to you today, the iDrone SE!

(Cheers, whoops and applause)

It comes in three colours... Wickes ply, brushed aluminium or carbon-fiber!

Gasp!

Thirty-four inch ultra-high-definition deck, depending on eyesight!

Fuck!!!

Contra-rotating props, GPS, 2.4GHz receiver and VHF antenna as standard...

No WAY!!!

Way. Accessories to include a removable clam-shell seat, as well as a...

Like the old Motorola PEBL?

(Screams) Get out! Get OUT! Security, get him OUT!!!

(Heavy breathing, awkward silence. People sneaking a 'break for nature').

Okay fuckers, questions?

Yeah, why's your head so big?

Monday, August 25, 2025

100k


It's been one small blog for a man, one giant leap for what you can achieve when you pay a team in the Philippines to click on your posts. Asked to comment the CEO said 'We've come a long, long way together, through the hard times and the good, I have to celebrate you, babies, and praise you like I shourrrrrrrd.'*

Do not be discouraged by the lack of followers, incidentally. Becoming one requires a period of indenture involving years of solitary devotion and a diet of quinoa beans, beside your own urine. Last month several of my devotees joined me to graduate at the Shaolin monastery where sadly I had to fail all of them, one admitting to having added sugar to the urine.

No comments either, all novitiates of the blog having pledged a strict vow of silence.

* Indebted to ChatGPT for this thank-you speech, though it broke the spell-checker.

Sunday, August 24, 2025

Silence of the Laminates #13


Don't spray-paint the edges of laminated foams as the solvent also dissolves XPS, as will polyester resin. Apply a coat of anything you find in a tin prior to that move to the spray-shop.

Photography by Hilton, lawn-mower by Dior.

Silence of the Laminates #12


A few posts back you'll recall how I had forgotten to nail the motor to the cross-bar that forms the trailing-edge of the deck, but in retrospect there is no harm done as this method ~ which I've trialled during the recent past ~ has much to commend it, for it means the motors can be popped off without disturbing the larger framework.

The original aim was to align the thrust so far as possible with the C of G, because experiments at full-scale with an outboard long ago showed that a sizeable offset in the thrust-line meant the game was over from the get-go. I've flown jets with inline engines (Citation, Hawker 125) and underslung (737), and whilst adding or reducing thrust on the former altered trim not a jot, trimming required on the latter during thrust changes was considerable; as it would be were a water-propeller to be pitched south of this hydroski. 

Nobody notices nowadays as auto-trim papers over such cracks on modern airliners, which adds another way in which modern pilots are unaware of how it is they fly.

But boats or planes, I'm old-school ~ and reviewing this set-up, the weight of the batteries and drive-train raise the C of G some way north of the deck anyways.

All in all I'm happy with how this looks, especially seeing how it came close to being cut up in order to re-use sections of the laminated sheet. It's a fourth prototype and the one that moves on first to testing under power. And there can't be another, as I'm out of the uPVC skirting used for the skis... and am too mean to buy any more.

Lick of paint though, eh Gromit?

* Jet engines are underslung on even the smallest airliners nowadays, being that much easier to inspect, service and maintain. They also allow for structurally lighter wings, but don't ask why. 

Silence of the Laminates #11


Meantimes here's the solution to the wobbly ski on the laminated test-bed, and a fix we've seen before on the first two prototypes: a down-post secured by a T-bracket. It positively hurts to use anything more than timber and a pack of screws, because Liver King wouldn't, would he?

(Ed. his publicist told me that he would, but only off-camera and over a Weetabix).